Coffee, the kind you get in the break room at work, the fast-food joint, even decent restaurants – its crap. It’s an insult to our taste buds and to the bean itself.

I hate coffee.

I LOVE Expresso.

I didn’t know ‘coffee’ could actually taste great until I tried espresso.

In the states, I would drink Quick-Trip instant Cappuccino. OMG! WTF was I doing? That’s just pure raw sewage with sugar.

Once I moved to Shanghai, I stopped all that and got off the Sugar-shit wagon almost completely. Soda was yuck. Fruit juice is nasty. Tea lost its appeal. My taste buds wanted something more. Something deep, full and satisfying. I remembered having a few Cappuccino’s at Starbucks in the US, and wanted that taste again, but without all the fat and sugar. And Starbucks here is way expensive – even though you can’t spit without hitting one of their stores (there are 17 within 1km (0.62 miles) of our home)

So I tried Ikea pre-ground espresso and got one of their stove-top coffee makers. Better than a pot of coffee, much better that McDonalds coffee, it satiated my taste buds for a number of years.

Then it started disappearing off Ikea shelves. I had to find an alternative. And something better.

I looked: Zoo, Luckin, Costa, Tie, Manor, etc. None of them sold just beans – except Starbucks, and a bag was more than double the price of what Ikea used to carry: 85¥/250g (~13$USD/8.8oz). Quiet a bit more expensive than even in the US. Still, it was my only option.

OMG! So much better than anything I’d ever tasted! Pure ground espresso, nothing else. I was now truly addicted. I was now a lifetime member of the cult of Starbucks. There.was.no.going.back.

Now, the stovetop expresso maker from Ikea was no longer ‘good enough’. So my lovely, adoring, wonderful wife bought me a small DE’Longhi Espresso machine that fits nicely in our little apartment. And an electric blade grinder for the beans. It was perfect.

Almost

The blade grinder was loud. Hardly the relaxing meditative experience one wants making and drinking pure espresso. And the grind was not uniform. Portions are wispy powder while others are large boulders that vary the taste with every double-shot.

So for my birthday, my Honorable Son bought me a mini hand grinder from Starbucks Reserve for the ridiculous price of 700¥ (109$USD). I have to admit, it is a masterpiece of Stainless Steel, Aluminum and fine Oak. Hand grinding is cathartic and meditative in so many ways. And it produces the perfect uniform grind exactly to my liking (once I dialed in the settings) so my 2 daily doses of double-shots of espresso are perfection.

Almost

Nirvana, it seams is always just beyond reach

You know, this Starbucks Espresso ain’t cheap. It’s quite a bit more expensive, per gram, than what it sells for in the US. So why is it so damn old? After years of buying these in the local Starbucks stores, I would feel fortunate to find a bag that was more than 2 months from its expiry date. I realize these dates are basically meaningless. You can usually still consume something months after its ‘expired’. Stuff just doesn’t Instantly go bad.

Still, these beans have been sitting in their bags for at least 10 months, exposed to all manor of hostilities, before I get to appreciate them, so I know they’re not at their prime. And that’s a lot of money to spend on sub-prime beans. So I emailed Starbucks in the US. They forwarded my query to Starbuck Shanghai.

No response.

I followed up, chiding them for poor customer service and Starbucks Shanghai finally responded:

“It takes a while to get here. Try our online store or ‘locally’ grown beans” – basically…

Sorry, its going to take a while before I’m willing to test out locally grown coffee. There’s a reason the best beans come from specific areas only: rich soil, perfect climate, clean air. All of which China is not well known for.

The online store has turned out to be a better (albeit slightly more expensive) option. The bags are smaller (200g instead of 250g), and at 75¥/bag, slightly more expensive per gram. But they are within 3 months of their production date, instead of less than 3 months to their expiry date.

The beans are shinier, oilier, more fragrant and arguably better tasting: deeper, stronger flavor without the slap-in-the-face bitterness. I eat a few straight every once in a while as well.

So how does all this add up to feed my addiction?

• 12g per double shot. So that’s 24g/day or ~720g per month (average).
• 2 double shots every day (12 calories, 256mg caffeine – which I think easily cancels out the calories!)
• Each bag is 200g @ 75¥. So 720/200 = 3.6 bags a month, or 270¥/month ($42USD)

Expensive, but a damn site less than ~21¥/double-shot bought at the barista: 1260¥/month ($196USD). Espresso machine easily payed for itself in just under 4 months.

And what pairs best with straight Espresso? 100% Cacao, of course. But that’s another post.

So, now, maybe, I’ve achieved Espresso Nirvana? Hmm…maybe a better cup…

UPDATE: The ‘local’ (as in another couple districts away) Costco has their Kirkland branded Starbucks Espresso Whole Bean blend in 1.13KB bags. That roughly 5.6 x the size of the 200gm bags I was buying from ‘official’ online Starbucks T-Mall store. And at 129¥ , is comes out to be less than a THIRD the price. So that drops my 270¥/month addiction down to ~81¥/month (or $12.50USD). It’s just as good, and just as fresh, but I need to find a way to keep it that way for the 48 days it will take me to go through a bag, but Hell YES! That’s a deal I can deal with!